Doubt

I’m going to be honest with you. Every so often I have periods of doubt where I start to wonder if the stuff I write on All4God is having any impact. Is there anybody actually reading it? Is the stuff I’m writing inspired by God or is it my own ideas? Is it worth continuing? Would people miss it? And sometimes I feel as though I am totally out of inspiration and wonder if it is time to call it a day on the site.
I’m sure in your walk with God you have experienced similar doubts: are you making any impact on your non-believing friends? Is what you are doing with your life really God’s plan for you? Could he really use someone as messed up as you?
And when we doubt, we start to feel guilty, because we are meant to have total faith in God. So we try to block them out of our thoughts, we try to ignore them, but the doubts never really go away, they just come back stronger over time.
But here’s something I have learnt. God is very patient. When we bring our doubts to Him, He will answer them, no matter how frequently we doubt, no matter how trivial the issue. Every time I have had doubts about All4God, every time I have considered stopping I have ‘just so happened’ to hear (usually within a few hours) of the impact either the site in general or a specific article that I maybe wasn’t overly satisfied with has had on someone’s life. Just a week ago I was feeling totally out of inspiration and was sitting through worship at the youth fellowship were I am a leader, wondering if it was time to move on and let All4God fade away, only to get home to find a comment on the latest article I had written from a close friend saying how it had really impacted her, how God was speaking through my writing to her.
When you bring your doubts to God, He will answer them. There is nothing wrong with bringing doubts to Him. If you look through the Psalms or prophets like Habakkuk in the Old Testament you find time and again people in the Bible bringing doubts to God, and going away with them answered (next time you have a spare few minutes have a read of Habakkuk). He wants us to be honest with Him, not putting on an act in prayer that all is good when really inside we are being torn apart by doubt. After all, He knows our every thought, so He knows if we are being real with Him.
And it is when we are real with God that we can experience growth. He is ready to give us what we ask for –  in Luke 10:9 Jesus says “keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for” (as long as it is in line with His will and isn’t a materialistic request – so HDTVs are out I’m afraid!) If we ask for reassurance over issues we have doubts and uncertainties with, He will provide it. And often he will use those around us to do so. So listen to the guidance and encouragement of your friends and Christian leaders. It may well be that God is using them to reassure you that you are making a difference for Him. And also be willing to let people know if something they are doing for God has impacted, inspired or encouraged you so that they aren’t left with doubts as to if they are making a difference for God. (In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Paul urges us to “encourage each other and build each other up”)
Doubts are natural, and God knows our faith isn’t always going to be without questions. So bring your doubts and questions to Him, and let Him answer them, ask the Holy Spirit to strength your faith and don’t pretend all is ok when it blatantly isn’t.
{Jen J – thanks for giving me that encouragement a couple of times in the past week, it really means a lot}